Last night, I had a nice swim at the gym. Afterwards, I relaxed in the steam room for a while. I relished in the sensation of my pores opening, the fresh oxygen moving through my blood, my body shifting and relaxing, the heat, the moisture. The satisfaction of the work I completed during the day sat inside of me like a well-cooked meal.
I had company in the steam room.
The first woman typed on her phone the entire time, with the sound on. Every click of every letter she typed filled the space like soap bubbles. After she left, a second woman came in and scrolled TikTok, also with sound on.
It was a shared space. A space for rest and rejuvenation. And yet, it was filled with noise.
One one level, their behavior was inconsiderate. But on a deeper level, I found myself wondering: What makes stillness so uncomfortable? What makes it hard for us to simple sit in silence, with no performance, no distraction–even if boredom arises?
Sitting with What’s There
Stillness, even in small doses, carries deep medicine. It soothes and regulates the nervous system. It opens space for digestion–of thought, emotion, sensation. It creates the space where good ideas can arise on their own, without being chased.
In education theory, Piaget called this phenomenon Reflective Abstraction, the process by which higher forms of understanding emerge through internal reflection on earlier experience (Allen & Bickhard, 2015).
This isn’t about zoning out. It’s about tuning in.
Your Attention
Your attention is your most valuable resource–more valuable than money, more potent than experience. Where attention goes, energy flows.
In spaces of reprieve, like a steam room, the pause between sets, sitting on the train, waiting at a stoplight, magic is available for you to harness. It has the space to emerge if you attend to it.
Here are a few ways to practice:
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- Simply pause—be with the sensation of your breath, thoughts, or feelings. Let them be as they are and notice them without resistance.
- Experiment with connecting to the unchanging part of yourself—the part of you that never changes regardless of your age or time of day.
- Envision your dreams as if they have already become true. Notice what these spaces look like, who is with you, how it feels.
- Count your blessings. This supercharges your energy field.
- Connect with a higher power–if that’s your thing.
Surprise Yourself!
Reflective Abstraction is a state of readiness. It is a space where problems soften into unexpected solutions. It is where insight comes uninvited. As you cultivate the habit of letting go, the space of Reflective Abstraction it becomes more and more potent. What used to feel like “nothing” becomes the space where everything begins.
So please:
Take rest, digest, Let Being speak.
You may surprise yourself.
Allen, J. W. P., & Bickhard, M. H. (2015). Stepping back: Reflections on a pedagogical demonstration of reflective abstraction. Human Development, 58(4–5), 245–252. https://doi.org/10.1159/000437324
Piaget, J. (2001). The psychology of intelligence (M. Piercy & D. E. Berlyne, Trans.). Routledge. (Original work published 1947)
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